If you’ve got about eight minutes and aren’t at work, or at least aren’t in the potential vantage point of your boss, check out this new music video from Fetty Wap (of Trap Queen fame) and Lil Dicky. It is easily one of the most useful rap songs ever to have been created. I thought it’d be fun for a mid week pick me up to check out the sagely advice they are giving out for free on YouTube on how to build a successful financial life. Who knew you could learn how to save by listening to a rap song?
Ay, where the gold at, baby?
Ay, where the clothes at, baby?
Ay, where the dough at, baby?
In the bank but you know I ain’t tryna blow that, baby
Ay, we gon’ save that money (I’m so thrifty)
Ay, we gon’ save that money (I’m so stingy)
Ay, we gon’ save that money
What we do? We gon’ save that money
The chorus is pure poetic genius. Essentially Fetty Wap makes fun of the default American position of consumption. His first thought when he gets loads of Benjamins thrown at him for a platinum album is to sock it away in the bank. Furthermore, there’s a smack down going on between him and the listener. He’s asking us “How much frugal street cred do you really have?” While he’s thinking of new business ventures and YouTube videos that will bring in millions to go towards his balanced portfolio of index funds, you’re out looking for discounts at Macy’s and leasing an entry level luxury car. Fetty is outsavin’ your spendy a$$.
[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]
Rap game got it all wrong
We ain’t ’bout to go and spend money just to flex on them
We ain’t really got it like y’all (Yeah, baby!)
I’m a type of motherf#cker that’ll check the check
Do the math, I ain’t never gettin’ robbed
Those margaritas not goin’ on my card
I ain’t ’bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake
I’m at the restaurant workin’ that waitress
You ain’t heard of Lil Dave, Yung L, The Jew Biz Major?
F#ck you know about the world he was raised in?
I’ve been savin’ money since a motherf#cker thirteen
I wear the same pair of jeans everyday
Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away
Book flight December but I leave in May
Drugs are generic but still work the same
I get login’s for Netflix from my cousin Greg
There is a massive contrast between going to restaurants in the US and Europe. Because the waiters get between 15-20% in tips on top of the bill, their incentive is not so much good service as it is to get you to buy more. If you get those three craft beers you were thinking about they get 15% of that. The key for not getting ripped off when you go out to eat is to be careful what you let the wait staff talk you into buying. Also, anyone that’s ever split a bill knows it’s better to pay for one. With medicine, Doctors get PAID BIG $$$ for recommending brand name drugs and charging you and insurance companies way more than necessary for all kinds of pills so you gotta watch out for them. With transport, Airlines love to jack up prices close to the flight because they know we suck at planning ahead. Finally, who hasn’t used their parent’s Netflix account to get awesome numbers of free videos served up on the regular for $8 a month. Basically, Lil Dicky is telling you to watch out for professionals that run up your bill for unnecessary goods and services. I won’t speak to wearing the same pair of jeans everyday but if you had two pairs and alternated that would probably work well without bad side effects.
Repeat Chorus, Joke About a Short Unrelated Verse Being Cheap to Include in Song
[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]
I ain’t parkin’ that unless the meter green, homie
Hair cut several months in-between, homie
Hit the motherf#ckin’ lights when I leave, homie
Single ply TP ass bleed
Air B&B the mother f#cker, least I’m never there
I’m not in Cali, why the f#ck my company in Delaware?
Happy hour takin’ out the chicken, I don’t even care
That applies to both dating and wings
Peep matinees phone bill got the motherf#ckin’ fam on it
401k rollin’ over bands on it
Coppin’ sweaters in the summer with the sale on it
The f#ck you rappers bragging bout? You overpay for it
Lil Dicky wants you to save more by taking advantage of opportunities in your life. If you don’t grab that parking meter with the time left on it, it will go completely unused. While I advocate the more extreme step of learning to cut your own hair, when you put off getting the cut for another month past what is normal, you will save 50% on your barber bill. The rapper is advocating that we jump on deals like family plan phone bills, sweaters you won’t use for another season, lower tax bills from incorporating in business friendly states , and AirBnB rental income from unused apartments. Basically don’t let resources lay fallow. There are always ways to wring savings and efficiencies out of any situation. He also takes an opportunity to laugh at opposing rappers that leave money on the table by not jumping on these deals and overpaying for everything.
[Verse 4: Lil Dicky]
I ain’t never hit a bar with a cover
Low thread count, hard with the covers
Free trial memberships though
I never join the shiz though
f#ck you think this is though?
Frequent flying like a motherf#ckin finch tho
General Tso, half a dozen on the stick
Just so I can whet the appetite of dick
What you talkin’ about?
My AC never doing nothing, blow fans
Walgreens card shoppin’ all the off brands
Boy go hard when collecting, got Venmo
Save every motherf#ckin’ roach, tryna smoke
Check the clothes in my drawers, I ain’t playin’ around
It’s LD, lil boy, Mr. Hand-me-down
Dirty drawers gettin’ worn, can you blame me now?
You think I got $4.50 up in quarters on me well I f#cking don’t!
Here Lil Dicky is poking fun at how he’s cool with going for less quality in exchange for more savings. Lower quality is often compensated generously. Off brand savings can be 50% or more and it’s the same exact good. Wearing hand me downs does the exact same job for maybe 90% less in cost if you shop at Goodwill. While I actually like higher count sheets because anything that promotes good sleep habits is probably a good investment, you certainly don’t need them compared to the straw mats our ancestors slept on. Also, anyone who has ever tried General Tso’s chicken knows it’s a great cheap snack.
Free trial memberships are usually dangerous because of how aggressive salespeople are at trying to convert you into a paying customer. It took me months to get off Sweat Fitness’s distribution list after I found several catches and extra charges in their contract they were offering with their special membership offer and opted out. Hence, I think it’s better to just ignore free memberships unless you don’t mind being ruthlessly rude to the people that will bother you when you try and cancel. Unfortunately, I can’t speak to smoking but I think it’s best to just not do it, as I’ve discussed before.
Chorus and Bridge
[Outro: Lil Dicky]
If you at a restaurant and got an iced coffee
And the waiter been refillin’ that without a word of caution
And you get your f#ckin’ bill and you can see ’em double chargin’
For the coffee and you told ’em there’s a problem
Sing a long like
Ohh don’t double charge for me for that
Ohh don’t double charge for me for that
Don’t do it to yourself
Cause I might just ask what the ice cube’s worth
That’s the only differentiator making this a non-free perk
And I might make work more difficult for you than it need be
So think about it take a minute let it breathe B
But think about it bruh you saw me take the burger with the bacon on the side
After looking at the price of the side of just bacon
And comparing it to the what the difference in the cheeseburger
Vs. the bacon cheeseburger was and making my decision
I would hate to be the waiter trying to tell me something different
I’ma get on Yelp in a minute and review
This piece of shit place like only a kyke know how
Unless you take the extra coffee off I might get loud unless you…
Oh, it was just an accident?
You didn’t even mean that [snicker]
You didn’t… that was… that’s… I’m so embarrassed
Our rapper Lil Dicky is speaking about how waiters ask if you want another drink or coffee while implying it’s free. Then you get the bill and they charge for each one. This implication of free goods and services with an unexpected bill happens all the time from texting your tutor to printing pages to parking your car in what you thought was a free zone. When it’s possible, if you’re not sure if extras cost more, just ask. It will take away uncertainty and will save you money as you have accurate information to determine if something is worth spending extra to get. Even so, it can be socially awkward when you make mistakes and are wrong like Lil Dicky with his coffee.
Formerly an Enemy of Frugality, Now Save By Listening to a Rap Song
If you listen to a lot of rap, you know it mostly encourages you to throw money in the air like you don’t care, to wake up in new Bugattis, and to be a billionaire, a title you have wanted so freakin’ bad. It’s really refreshing to see Fetty Wap and Lil Dicky speaking financial truth to the streets on how saving more is sexy and spending on flashy items helps you end up broke, and no one likes broke rappers. So be smart like Fetty and Lil Dicky and save more. Your future self will thank you. If you have any friends that are hard to reach with the frugality message, share this with them. It’s way more fun to learn how to save by listening to a rap song.
$ave Dat Money!
From your boy, Tmoney